Sunday, December 31, 2006

Happy New Year To Me - Chapter 5

I covered my ears as the fireworks started to get louder and louder. Our neighbors now prepared their dozen fireworks, ready for the New Year Fireworks Display. 40 minutes till New Year, and here I am... in front of the pc. I looked out the window for a while and looked at the distant colorful display of lights and sighed. "I wonder how my new year will turn out to be..." I thought. A new year... another chance... Time to forget about the past... My chest hurt. The past... Hmmm... yeah... besin. My ex, besin, was already part of the past now. Forget? I chuckled to myself. Nahh... it's hard to forget. But I guess, with these thoughts in my mind. I'm moving on bit by bit now. I called him up this morning, and I realized... I still miss his voice though. He's still very alive... and special in my heart.
Minute pass by fast... it's now 30 mins. till New Year. Jaz, make up your mind now... Live a new life! I leaned back on my chair and sighed. Will I be alone again this new year?
My YM was silent. Ahh... Everyone's with their families or friends. But I'm happy... at least besin is online. He didn't leave me alone like in Christmas... I smiled. Maybe he still cares for me... but even if it's just a little care on his part... It makes me very very happy.
Yeah, this new year...I'm finally going to wake up. I want to be happy now. I want my life to be as colorful as the fireworks display outside. I want to smile and be proud of myself next year. Suddenly, I'm excited to live a new life. I can't wait to see what lies ahead... to my future.
I smiled. Yup! It's now time to close the Past Chapters of My Life. Time to Open New Doors.
I grabbed my cellphone and began sending text messages to my friends. Friends who have been there for me during my heartbreaking experience. So, to all my friends who's been there for me at this time - you know who you are - let me say this to you with all my heart:
Thank you so much for being there for me, for giving me courage, support and most of all, for reminding me to move on and to stand up for myself. If you weren't there, I wouldn't have been here to witness New Year. I love you all! May you have a wonderful New Year, guys and gals!

*~__ i'm your ragdoll no more ___ ~*